( yeah, that's a negative on the schmancy whiskey front. Matt will have to make do with some hand holding. Matt isn't the only one that needs comfort, turns out, but Peter knows there's only so much he can get. so he cradles Matt's hand like it's made of glass instead of a weapon that Matt can and does turn against people. he uses it as a pillow to get a direct line to the beat of his heart and uses that as his comfort instead.
it's not fast, it's not slow, it's not scattered or uneven. it's not normal and okay maybe it's weird that Peter knows what Matt's "normal" heartbeat is like. it's not the first time he's paid attention to it, is all. considering Matt uses his senses on Peter all the time, it seems fair enough that Peter can creep on his heartbeat on occasion. it is hard not to fall asleep listening to the reassuring thunder of it under his ear, especially because it has most certainly been a quiet comfort that helps him fall asleep before.
but turns out bone-tired weariness is not enough to put his mind to sleep, when the anxiousness chases to the front of his thoughts. even with the heartbeat, Peter finds himself worrying about whether the injuries will heal. if there's a concussion he doesn't know about that might keep Matt from ever walking up. if there could still be enough open wounds that he'll bleed out, slowly and surely, and Peter will wake up to find him cold and long since gone, and he just slept through it.
turns out that kind of anxiety is enough to keep anyone awake, and Peter instead wakes up to finish what he started. truth be told, it does make him feel a little better to catalogue the injuries and make sure that they're dealt with. by the time he's done (more cuts than he could count, about a dozen bruises, a shiner on his face, the list goes on) Peter is at least fairly confident Matt won't die in his sleep. even if he's certainly asleep — nothing but a few mumbles, even though it can't be comfortable to be splashed with more antiseptic and antibacterial than a hospital floor.
it's only after that Peter lets himself crawl back into the spot he's abandoned, and even then he doesn't fall asleep immediately. he holds onto Matt's hand, watches his restless sleep and lets the worries eat him alive for a little while, before not even they can keep him awake. )
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puts a bow on this one 🎀
Date: 2019-07-18 03:49 am (UTC)it's not fast, it's not slow, it's not scattered or uneven. it's not normal and okay maybe it's weird that Peter knows what Matt's "normal" heartbeat is like. it's not the first time he's paid attention to it, is all. considering Matt uses his senses on Peter all the time, it seems fair enough that Peter can creep on his heartbeat on occasion. it is hard not to fall asleep listening to the reassuring thunder of it under his ear, especially because it has most certainly been a quiet comfort that helps him fall asleep before.
but turns out bone-tired weariness is not enough to put his mind to sleep, when the anxiousness chases to the front of his thoughts. even with the heartbeat, Peter finds himself worrying about whether the injuries will heal. if there's a concussion he doesn't know about that might keep Matt from ever walking up. if there could still be enough open wounds that he'll bleed out, slowly and surely, and Peter will wake up to find him cold and long since gone, and he just slept through it.
turns out that kind of anxiety is enough to keep anyone awake, and Peter instead wakes up to finish what he started. truth be told, it does make him feel a little better to catalogue the injuries and make sure that they're dealt with. by the time he's done (more cuts than he could count, about a dozen bruises, a shiner on his face, the list goes on) Peter is at least fairly confident Matt won't die in his sleep. even if he's certainly asleep — nothing but a few mumbles, even though it can't be comfortable to be splashed with more antiseptic and antibacterial than a hospital floor.
it's only after that Peter lets himself crawl back into the spot he's abandoned, and even then he doesn't fall asleep immediately. he holds onto Matt's hand, watches his restless sleep and lets the worries eat him alive for a little while, before not even they can keep him awake. )