( when he first signed up to be a member of ALASTAIR — and signed up was a strong word for coerced to participate — he'd almost thought it all sounded kinda cool. traveling worlds, planets, universes. maybe getting a little closer to feeling like he could be a hero again, after months of feeling like he could make up for the ways he'd failed. that was the idea. he'd never imagined it'd take years. he'd never imagined he'd go through so much, lose so many. after Gwen transferred the second time, Peter told himself he couldn't make the mistake of caring so much that he couldn't handle a loss.
after Stiles left, he was downright determined. all his hopeful thoughts of loving being worth it felt really hollow in the loneliness, even though he could rest knowing that Stiles had gone home to his dad and his best friends and a pack that'd do anything to protect him. surely, sooner or later, Peter would go back home, too. right?
at this point, though, he hopes that doesn't happen before Maya does. she's the last man standing, which is a pretty raw deal for her, all things considered. he's back to the rather unhealthy tendency of just one support system, though it's easier when they have an entire team's worth of people capable of supering. he doesn't have to hide that, yet he still hides a little. who he is, how much he can care about others, because there's only so many times he can love and love and lose and lose and lose.
he's survived it how many times now? Maya will be his last goodbye, that's a promise.
it hasn't happened yet. they've gone on more missions than can be easily counted, they're still slogging through, the missions that kick them in the gut as much as the one that earn fond smiles when they look back. at least they have each other, right? the last mission hadn't been heartbreaking, just long. he's glad to be back in Oska, even if walking the halls has a habit of making him miss faces he doesn't see in them anymore. they're heading down to dinner, because of course they are, one of the few things that hasn't changed is that both of them can put away almost more food than the magically generating kitchen can provide, when he feels the warning tingle, just at the back of his neck.
he reaches out to grab her arm and try and stop her before its too late, but the mistletoe, the stupid magic mistletoe, already has them trapped. it's almost like it's laughing at them. ) It's July, ( Peter tells the castle in exasperation, but as always, the walls don't have an answer. he looks a mix of sheepish and uncertain and something neither of them should try to decipher when he looks down at Maya. ) Look, we can just comm someone to pull it down.
( easy. no big deal. it's not an issue. they can wait five minutes, that mistletoe doesn't have to win. it's not that Peter can't imagine kissing her — actually, that's sort of the problem. he totally can, which is exactly why he shouldn't. )
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papaya
Date: 2017-07-22 10:21 am (UTC)after Stiles left, he was downright determined. all his hopeful thoughts of loving being worth it felt really hollow in the loneliness, even though he could rest knowing that Stiles had gone home to his dad and his best friends and a pack that'd do anything to protect him. surely, sooner or later, Peter would go back home, too. right?
at this point, though, he hopes that doesn't happen before Maya does. she's the last man standing, which is a pretty raw deal for her, all things considered. he's back to the rather unhealthy tendency of just one support system, though it's easier when they have an entire team's worth of people capable of supering. he doesn't have to hide that, yet he still hides a little. who he is, how much he can care about others, because there's only so many times he can love and love and lose and lose and lose.
he's survived it how many times now? Maya will be his last goodbye, that's a promise.
it hasn't happened yet. they've gone on more missions than can be easily counted, they're still slogging through, the missions that kick them in the gut as much as the one that earn fond smiles when they look back. at least they have each other, right? the last mission hadn't been heartbreaking, just long. he's glad to be back in Oska, even if walking the halls has a habit of making him miss faces he doesn't see in them anymore. they're heading down to dinner, because of course they are, one of the few things that hasn't changed is that both of them can put away almost more food than the magically generating kitchen can provide, when he feels the warning tingle, just at the back of his neck.
he reaches out to grab her arm and try and stop her before its too late, but the mistletoe, the stupid magic mistletoe, already has them trapped. it's almost like it's laughing at them. ) It's July, ( Peter tells the castle in exasperation, but as always, the walls don't have an answer. he looks a mix of sheepish and uncertain and something neither of them should try to decipher when he looks down at Maya. ) Look, we can just comm someone to pull it down.
( easy. no big deal. it's not an issue. they can wait five minutes, that mistletoe doesn't have to win. it's not that Peter can't imagine kissing her — actually, that's sort of the problem. he totally can, which is exactly why he shouldn't. )